Saturday, 10 July 2010

Dear My Friend Mr Bristol City Council



Dear My Friend Mr Bristol City Council,

I have great opportunity for you but must act soonest as all people will want be involved.

We have great INTERNATIONAL TOP BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY to assist you help in getting rid of unwanted land. We represent big business wanting to build housing on land and able to offer great excellent opportunity. This one time offer only so no delay please.

Please send us immediately £45,000 each year for gym membership for next 30 years. In return you get back £144,000 each year gym membership for 30 years – sorry no refunds. We build houses on your unwanted land to sell (but no council house please) and promise to bring World Cup (free tickets for you and Mrs Bristol City Council with VVIP special seat soon by VVIP Mr Blatter) and we very happy. You very happy. Everybody very happy.


FIFA Guaranteed. But must say Yes by 21st July or opportunity lost. We have many other interested party.

Send deeds to land very quickly as time is urgent. We speak to Mr Cook he say you very keen, also say you would like Arena. We promise Arena too but no guarantee. But museum more hard. Please send money now.

Your obedient servant,

Mr U B’nhaad
World Utopian Bank of Football (formerly Lagos Savings and Loan)

This no scam, this real offer. Hurry Now.

1 comment:

  1. Dear Mr U B’nhaad,

    Many thanks for your interest in the purchase of our land. This is indeed a matter to be concluded with the utmost urgency.

    We are confident that FIFA will select England as host country for the 2018 World Cup, and that our planning committee will give its consent to the construction of a megastore on the current stadium site to make it all viable, and our economic case is based on those scenarios. However, it makes commercial sense to act quickly as it would be to our mutual disbenefit if either of those scenarios should be invalidated by unwise decisions.

    However, as a city council we are obliged to consider the interests of minorities, ie those voters who are not supporters of Bristol City Football Club. Therefore, we wonder if we could interest you in further land disposals that we have in mind, throughout the less advantaged parts of the city. There would be negligible cost to yourself; little more than a commitment to provide park-keepers in nominated parks during daylight hours. You may feel confident that any development proposals you should suggest will be sympathetically considered.

    Yours very sincerely etc etc